The Authentic You!

Merriam Webster’s dictionary defines “authentic” in several ways. The two variations that made the most sense for today’s post are the following:

1: not false or imitation: real, actual
2: true to one's own personality, spirit, or character

During the last nine months, a few friends and I have talked extensively about living “authentic lives.” But what makes someone’s life authentic? If we go back to Webster’s definition, an authentic life would be one without pretense and/or falsehoods. As we all know, this is not always so easy to accomplish, as it requires incredible self-assuredness.

I still remember quite vividly the ten-day meditation retreat that I attended nearly three years ago. When you sign up for this retreat you are asked to abide by several Buddhist tenets, some of which include not to lie, cheat or steal. The actual retreat was silent, which pretty much takes care of the pledge not to lie. It is only in the early part of day-ten that everyone is allowed to converse. Believe me, it is surreal spending nine and a half days meditating, eating, bathing and sleeping beside 80 people you haven’t spoken a word to. I certainly learned how judgmental I can be, as I formed opinions on people to whom I hadn’t spoken a single word. On the final day, when I chatted with fellow meditators, I discovered they were nothing like I imagined. The man I assumed was a family man with a wife and two daughters was gay. I was certain the young twenty-something guy with movie star good looks was a snob, but he ended up being a circus performer (a la Cirque du Soleil) who was actually quite charming.

From the very instant that we began to introduce ourselves I quickly realized I was filtering what I wanted people to know about me. Only months before I had been laid off from my job, a circumstance I had never experienced before. I remember being exceptionally sensitive about discussing it. In essence, I was providing slightly altered versions of my truth. This behavior, to say the least, was not authentic. And while I consider myself to be an honest person, I would likely not have followed that particular tenet had we been allowed to speak. So again, how do we get to an authentic life? Start by throwing out the script you believe you were given. For most of us this script reads something like the following:

1. Elementary School
2. Middle School (Junior High)
3. High School
4. College [at least undergraduate, possibly more]
5. Get a job
6. Get married
7. Have children
8. Retirement

While many people have become and continue to be successful with the above scenario, it is not for everyone. Steve Jobs skipped the fourth step while Brangelina skipped the sixth. To become our authentic selves we all need to consider what variations of the above script are appropriate for our own individual lives. Keep in mind this is not an excuse to throw off your responsibilities. Our true selves will only emerge from honesty and dedication. Our true selves will always have a sense of purpose and will commit to hard work toward a specific set of goals.

Just as the caterpillar enters its cocoon to emerge as its more beautiful butterfly self, we must find a safe place to figure out who we really are. As 2012 begins, take a moment to sit quietly. Think, reflect, and meditate. Wait for the velocity of your own thoughts to slow down. Listen to that inner voice. Do this repeatedly and allow your own metamorphosis to begin.

The reason casting agents are in business is because they have a knack for matching specific actors to suitable roles. You must serve as your own casting director to arrive at the real you. If the script outlined above is suitable then play that role. If it isn’t write your own story because only you can answer what authentic means in your life. Happy 2012 to all!

TO LEARN MORE OR TO READ AN EXCERPT
of my sci-fi/fantasy/adventure novel, “The Unveiling: 1.0,” please visit TheUnveilingSeries.com.