I am one of a few native Californians having been born in Hollywood and raised in Pasadena. For most of my youth, I thought California was the center of the universe. There was nowhere else I wanted to live. But that was up until about ten years ago. For nearly a decade, I lived unhappily in the City of Angels and I just hoped for the best. I hoped for less traffic and better air quality. I hoped the streets would be in better repair and that the necessary maintenance wouldn’t worsen traffic. I hoped property values would cease to skyrocket, so that I could one day afford to buy. At one point I found myself hoping that L.A.’s population would decrease. I prayed people would stop moving in while others moved out. And yes, I soon realized how unrealistic my hopes and dreams were.
In some ways, I felt being a native made living in L.A. harder to accept. I remembered when the traffic wasn’t so bad and when there was actually a time of day that it ended. I remembered when there weren’t so many people competing for the resources that California has to offer. Yes, I remembered a kinder, gentler California. Given the information I had, I made a decision. I realized it was more realistic for me to leave than it was waiting for others to leave. At least I had control over whether or not I stayed.
With my mind set on leaving California, the first city I had on my radar was Vancouver, Canada. I flew there and remembered feeling a breath of fresh air that it wasn’t overcrowded or polluted. In fact, I felt Vancouver had yet to reach its capacity, whereas if L.A. had been a club, the fire marshals should have been called in years ago to shut it down. Although Vancouver didn’t work out, I did manage to escape from Los Angeles and to settle in the dirty south in Atlanta, Georgia.
Soon after I began learning what Atlanta had to offer, I also began analyzing exactly what had not worked for me in L.A. It took me a while to realize L.A. had become a veritable city of obstacles. I began to realize that I had constantly encountered barriers and roadblocks in the most unlikely of places. Even if I just wanted to meet a friend for drinks, I had to drive. It's the way L.A.'s infrastructure works. And it's not uncommon to encounter a traffic jam at nine pm on a Tuesday, or at eleven pm on a Sunday. And once I had braved traffic, there was still the issue of parking, and then waiting on line in the more popular spots.
Obstacles to the simple things are hard for me to accept. Something as simple as going jogging isn’t always an easy task. During my latest visit to L.A., I decided to jog the Runyon Canyon trail. It was early on a Saturday morning, between eight and eight-thirty am. To my dismay, I was greeted by roughly twelve other drivers hunting for parking. After five or so minutes of driving around, I decided to go where parking was not an obstacle. But this is the main problem with L.A., and likely with many other big cities. There is too much of everything. The upside of this phenomenon is there are always a zillion things to do. There is never a reason to be bored. The downside is the number of obstacles. Just like the population, it grows with every year.
In addition to these little nuisances, there are also the premiums that Los Angelenos pay. Property values are astronomical in comparison to many other cities. Taxes are more. Gas costs more and car insurance is more. And due to the financial crisis, California residents are being asked to pay for things that never used to cost money. Parking meters are popping up everywhere, even in areas that are not commercial hot spots. In my youth, parking was never a problem.
Hopefully, this hasn’t seemed like an L.A. bashing session. That was not my intention. In fact, I am only writing about L.A. because it’s what I know. The point of my story is that we must begin taking into consideration the factors that make us happy. Each year there are surveys about the quality of life in different cities across the world. Los Angeles doesn’t rank highly in these surveys and I suspect it is because it is not an easy city. But that’s the good news. There is a whole world out there for us to explore.
To see the 2009 top 50 cities quality of life rankings, please visit:
http://www.mercer.com/referencecontent.htm?idContent=1173105#Top_50_cities:_Quality_of_living
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
The Truth Hurts
On many occasions I have heard that the world we live in is one of delusion, but the true ramifications of this statement were confusing to me. It is only in the last year and a half that I have begun to understand it intellectually. Many years ago, science confirmed that everything we know is made up of protons and electrons. It is all energy. This is at the center of the “world is delusion” concept. Although we see a chair, it is energy. Although we see a wine glass, it is energy. Delusion is what allows us to live in the physical world. It is the construct that makes life as we know it possible, but wouldn’t it be in our best interest if the delusion ended there? I’m here to argue a resounding yes, but as we all know, this is far from the truth. The reality is we are living in delusion in virtually every aspect of our lives.
My challenge to anyone reading this blog is that you might begin looking throughout your own lives to find the areas of delusion and to unveil them. Much of the world’s history is delusion. Did Columbus discover America? Not so much. There were entire civilizations already established in the Americas before Columbus’ arrival. Shouldn’t they take credit for the discovery? And the truth is, Columbus was looking for Asia, and apparently wasn’t the best of navigators.
Certainly, there are hundreds of historical accounts, which are simply nothing but delusion. But how does this relate to our lives you might ask? The pattern is how it relates. When we establish patterns of delusion, we are then prevented from seeing any truths, which in turn prevents us from self-actualizing. In other words, how do we become real people while refusing to accept truth over delusion?
I am sure anyone who has ever been in a failed relationship can attest to the delusions they suffered at the beginning of the relationship. Oftentimes, when we look back in time, we can see the things we refused to see when we were in the moment. The things we knew we couldn’t live with presented themselves in obvious ways, but we chose to ignore or rationalize them. Wouldn’t our relationships and lives be better, stronger and faster, if we acknowledged these things early on?
Right now, a political hot button is health care and Obama’s plans to reform. I am here to say that being uninsured is only half of the health care crisis. As a health insured cancer survivor, I can attest to the real crisis in health care. There simply aren’t many doctors who have a clue as to what it is they are doing. Over a year ago, I underwent radiation therapy and the answers I received to my questions were laughable. I was suffering some of the most miserable of side effects and when I asked, “How do we know if this is working,” I was given one of the most defensive of answers. In my mind, this was a reasonable question. I wanted to know if my suffering would be worth the end result. My doctor quickly snipped, “I am 52 years old and I am not answering that question.” The sad truth is he didn’t know the answer. In fact, doctors rarely know if radiation therapy is working. Just like the patient, they just cross their fingers and hope for the best. Had I known the reality of health care back when I was diagnosed, I would have made very different decisions for my treatment. In truth, knowing what I know now, I would not have had radiation, or even surgery for that matter.
When you begin demystifying the areas of delusion in your own lives, you will see the same phenomenon taking place. Your decision making skills will sharpen and much of life’s confusion will begin to dissipate. Oh what a wonderful world it will be on the other side of that veil.
My challenge to anyone reading this blog is that you might begin looking throughout your own lives to find the areas of delusion and to unveil them. Much of the world’s history is delusion. Did Columbus discover America? Not so much. There were entire civilizations already established in the Americas before Columbus’ arrival. Shouldn’t they take credit for the discovery? And the truth is, Columbus was looking for Asia, and apparently wasn’t the best of navigators.
Certainly, there are hundreds of historical accounts, which are simply nothing but delusion. But how does this relate to our lives you might ask? The pattern is how it relates. When we establish patterns of delusion, we are then prevented from seeing any truths, which in turn prevents us from self-actualizing. In other words, how do we become real people while refusing to accept truth over delusion?
I am sure anyone who has ever been in a failed relationship can attest to the delusions they suffered at the beginning of the relationship. Oftentimes, when we look back in time, we can see the things we refused to see when we were in the moment. The things we knew we couldn’t live with presented themselves in obvious ways, but we chose to ignore or rationalize them. Wouldn’t our relationships and lives be better, stronger and faster, if we acknowledged these things early on?
Right now, a political hot button is health care and Obama’s plans to reform. I am here to say that being uninsured is only half of the health care crisis. As a health insured cancer survivor, I can attest to the real crisis in health care. There simply aren’t many doctors who have a clue as to what it is they are doing. Over a year ago, I underwent radiation therapy and the answers I received to my questions were laughable. I was suffering some of the most miserable of side effects and when I asked, “How do we know if this is working,” I was given one of the most defensive of answers. In my mind, this was a reasonable question. I wanted to know if my suffering would be worth the end result. My doctor quickly snipped, “I am 52 years old and I am not answering that question.” The sad truth is he didn’t know the answer. In fact, doctors rarely know if radiation therapy is working. Just like the patient, they just cross their fingers and hope for the best. Had I known the reality of health care back when I was diagnosed, I would have made very different decisions for my treatment. In truth, knowing what I know now, I would not have had radiation, or even surgery for that matter.
When you begin demystifying the areas of delusion in your own lives, you will see the same phenomenon taking place. Your decision making skills will sharpen and much of life’s confusion will begin to dissipate. Oh what a wonderful world it will be on the other side of that veil.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Do You Love What You Feel?
Several years ago, one of my older cousins warned me about a family trait. She said I should be careful because most everyone in the family [on my mother’s side] was very sensitive. Truthfully, I didn’t understand why this was an issue, so I respectfully asked her to elaborate. She clarified that because we were sensitive, we were more susceptible to physical manifestations being tied to our emotional state. In other words, when we get upset, we get sick. During this conversation, I immediately harkened back to the first time I saw “Dangerous Liaisons” with John Malkovich and Michelle Pfeiffer. In the movie, John Malkovich’s character persuaded Michelle Pfeiffer to fall in love with him, but here’s the catch. If you saw the movie you will recall, he did this on a bet. Once he was successful in making her fall in love, he jilted her after which she fell gravely ill. At the time, I didn’t understand the story point. I didn’t understand how such an event could bring someone so close to death’s door. Well, today I understand it is through extreme sensitivity.
For a brief time, my cousin’s warning instilled a sense of fear in me. Just a few years before, one of our aunts had suffered an emotional breakdown and landed herself in the hospital. She never came out. I wholeheartedly believe that she suffered a similar circumstance to Michelle Pfeiffer’s character in Dangerous Liaisons. An emotional disturbance fully pushed her over the edge and she was unable to bounce back. The more I thought about it, I began to agree with my cousin. I do come from a long line of sensitive people. And truthfully, there are just as many sensitive folk on my father’s side of the family tree. I, in fact, had a double whammy of the sensitive gene.
Over several days, I reflected on my cousin’s words and then I had an epiphany. Sensitivity is only a weakness when you don’t understand or know how to use it. It is only a weakness when you choose to view the world as a victim. In “Dangerous Liaisons,” Michelle Pfeiffer’s character viewed herself as a victim. She had fallen in love only to be rejected. But there are others ways to use a sensitive nature. The canary in the mineshaft is more sensitive than the miner. The delicate bird only becomes a victim because he is caged. Were it not for the cage, he would fly out leaving the less sensitive miners to fend for themselves.
The cage we live in is society telling us we are weak if we are sensitive. We are told we should develop “thick skin” because it can be a cruel world. But this thinking is flawed. What should be developed is a way to get rid of the cruelty. Developing “thick skins” is miseducation that only perpetuates an insensitive world.
Over the last few years, I have learned to develop my sensitivity. In fact, I now see it as one of my biggest strengths, and on several occasions it has provided me with what one might call uncanny abilities. Ones I hesitate to talk about for fear you might think I’m a little crazy. When I allow myself to remain open to my feelings, all kinds of information are conveyed to me that others fail to see. When I realize how to use this information, it serves me well. I try to listen to the cues and then make appropriate decisions based upon them. It is only when I choose to ignore or suppress my sensitivity that I fall victim to the physical manifestations that my cousin warned me about.
My best advice to all is to free yourselves from the cage. When the oxygen in the mineshaft is no longer sufficient, listen to your sensitivity and fly, fly away!
For a brief time, my cousin’s warning instilled a sense of fear in me. Just a few years before, one of our aunts had suffered an emotional breakdown and landed herself in the hospital. She never came out. I wholeheartedly believe that she suffered a similar circumstance to Michelle Pfeiffer’s character in Dangerous Liaisons. An emotional disturbance fully pushed her over the edge and she was unable to bounce back. The more I thought about it, I began to agree with my cousin. I do come from a long line of sensitive people. And truthfully, there are just as many sensitive folk on my father’s side of the family tree. I, in fact, had a double whammy of the sensitive gene.
Over several days, I reflected on my cousin’s words and then I had an epiphany. Sensitivity is only a weakness when you don’t understand or know how to use it. It is only a weakness when you choose to view the world as a victim. In “Dangerous Liaisons,” Michelle Pfeiffer’s character viewed herself as a victim. She had fallen in love only to be rejected. But there are others ways to use a sensitive nature. The canary in the mineshaft is more sensitive than the miner. The delicate bird only becomes a victim because he is caged. Were it not for the cage, he would fly out leaving the less sensitive miners to fend for themselves.
The cage we live in is society telling us we are weak if we are sensitive. We are told we should develop “thick skin” because it can be a cruel world. But this thinking is flawed. What should be developed is a way to get rid of the cruelty. Developing “thick skins” is miseducation that only perpetuates an insensitive world.
Over the last few years, I have learned to develop my sensitivity. In fact, I now see it as one of my biggest strengths, and on several occasions it has provided me with what one might call uncanny abilities. Ones I hesitate to talk about for fear you might think I’m a little crazy. When I allow myself to remain open to my feelings, all kinds of information are conveyed to me that others fail to see. When I realize how to use this information, it serves me well. I try to listen to the cues and then make appropriate decisions based upon them. It is only when I choose to ignore or suppress my sensitivity that I fall victim to the physical manifestations that my cousin warned me about.
My best advice to all is to free yourselves from the cage. When the oxygen in the mineshaft is no longer sufficient, listen to your sensitivity and fly, fly away!
Monday, August 17, 2009
My Bread And Butter
Over the last month, my kitchen has become a veritable workshop. I have quite wisely invested in a bread maker, an ice cream maker and I am currently shopping around for a juicer. I decided to make these purchases after I began reading the labels of things in the grocery store.
There’s a strange phenomenon in our society that most of us probably never pay attention to. It seems we are constantly fighting to have things other than how they are. If we are fat, we have surgeries to make us skinny. If we are old, we have surgeries to help us appear young. So much of our reality is tainted by a desire to have things how we would like them to be, and this is oftentimes to our own detriment.
Once I began reading labels, I realized our food had largely become tainted by this behavior. For example, why are food dyes so pervasive? Red meat is dyed so it appears more aesthetically pleasing. Salmon, my favorite fish, is dyed for the same reason. Recently, while in Whole Foods, I inquired why all of the farmed salmon had been dyed. The man behind the counter pointed out a fish that resembled farmed salmon without the dye. It was a beige color and in no way resembled wild caught salmon. Then I began to understand. Not many people would buy farmed salmon if they saw it presented in a shade of beige. But isn’t this false advertising? Shouldn’t we be allowed to decide what we want based on how it really is? Isn’t this the premise of the free market system that demand will determine supply? Is it fair to deceive us into believing that farmed salmon is equivalent to wild caught salmon even though the two hardly resemble one another? Needless to say, farmed salmon will no longer be on my grocery list.
Another food I’ve been paying more attention to is yoghurt. When Yoplait first entered the market, I thought it was great -- many flavors, great consistency. For years I had Yoplait stocked in my refrigerator and then I educated myself on what real yoghurt is. Real yoghurt has a very different consistency from Yoplait and is made with milk and yoghurt cultures. Yoplait uses gelatin instead to achieve its consistency. But then I ask the question, “Is it really yoghurt?”
So many of our foods are loaded with artificial colors and flavors. Our fruits are made shiny with waxes, and fragrance is sometimes added just in case we couldn’t smell what the manufacturers wanted us to. When I contemplate how much effort is put into these foods, I find it odd that organic foods are pricier, but that also gives me a good idea of just how far we have strayed from the natural path.
Now that I am making homemade bread, I also decided to try my hand at making butter. It’s actually quite easy. And now that I realize how homemade butter is supposed to look, it’s clear that many store bought brands have thrown in a little yellow dye for my dining pleasure. Personally, I don’t want these additives in my food. Once I made a decision to buy products that excluded these ingredients, I began reading labels more carefully. The more I read, the more I realized how limited my choices were. There are very few “clean foods” available in large grocery store chains. But all is not lost. I have learned just how easy it is to make many staples in my own kitchen. In truth, that is the only way I can be sure of the purity I desire. Also, I am a firm believer that we vote with our dollars. Until I am comfortable that the foods I can buy in the store are clean, I will attempt to make them in my own home. Once again, I suggest you consider doing the same.
There’s a strange phenomenon in our society that most of us probably never pay attention to. It seems we are constantly fighting to have things other than how they are. If we are fat, we have surgeries to make us skinny. If we are old, we have surgeries to help us appear young. So much of our reality is tainted by a desire to have things how we would like them to be, and this is oftentimes to our own detriment.
Once I began reading labels, I realized our food had largely become tainted by this behavior. For example, why are food dyes so pervasive? Red meat is dyed so it appears more aesthetically pleasing. Salmon, my favorite fish, is dyed for the same reason. Recently, while in Whole Foods, I inquired why all of the farmed salmon had been dyed. The man behind the counter pointed out a fish that resembled farmed salmon without the dye. It was a beige color and in no way resembled wild caught salmon. Then I began to understand. Not many people would buy farmed salmon if they saw it presented in a shade of beige. But isn’t this false advertising? Shouldn’t we be allowed to decide what we want based on how it really is? Isn’t this the premise of the free market system that demand will determine supply? Is it fair to deceive us into believing that farmed salmon is equivalent to wild caught salmon even though the two hardly resemble one another? Needless to say, farmed salmon will no longer be on my grocery list.
Another food I’ve been paying more attention to is yoghurt. When Yoplait first entered the market, I thought it was great -- many flavors, great consistency. For years I had Yoplait stocked in my refrigerator and then I educated myself on what real yoghurt is. Real yoghurt has a very different consistency from Yoplait and is made with milk and yoghurt cultures. Yoplait uses gelatin instead to achieve its consistency. But then I ask the question, “Is it really yoghurt?”
So many of our foods are loaded with artificial colors and flavors. Our fruits are made shiny with waxes, and fragrance is sometimes added just in case we couldn’t smell what the manufacturers wanted us to. When I contemplate how much effort is put into these foods, I find it odd that organic foods are pricier, but that also gives me a good idea of just how far we have strayed from the natural path.
Now that I am making homemade bread, I also decided to try my hand at making butter. It’s actually quite easy. And now that I realize how homemade butter is supposed to look, it’s clear that many store bought brands have thrown in a little yellow dye for my dining pleasure. Personally, I don’t want these additives in my food. Once I made a decision to buy products that excluded these ingredients, I began reading labels more carefully. The more I read, the more I realized how limited my choices were. There are very few “clean foods” available in large grocery store chains. But all is not lost. I have learned just how easy it is to make many staples in my own kitchen. In truth, that is the only way I can be sure of the purity I desire. Also, I am a firm believer that we vote with our dollars. Until I am comfortable that the foods I can buy in the store are clean, I will attempt to make them in my own home. Once again, I suggest you consider doing the same.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
A Party of One!
Here’s an opinion question: Are we meant to be alone? Or maybe I should specify: Are we meant to be alone right now? I only ask because oftentimes people refer to cycles when it comes to certain behaviors. For example, I have heard that fashions resurface every twenty-five years. Or financial masterminds claim that economies cycle through booms and recessions regardless of who is in office. And certainly relationships also go through cycles. I am beginning to suspect we have entered a phase in which relationships are not meant to work. Most of my friends who are in couples are either breaking it off, or they are being dumped. If anyone else has noticed this strange phenomenon, please let me know. I would love to hear your thoughts.
It wasn’t until a few months ago that I noticed this trend. I had traveled to Europe where my cousin was still suffering the after effects of a failed relationship. And another British friend was suffering from continuing to be in one. The latter has since broken it off although his ex is refusing to leave. For several months, he has remained stuck beneath the same roof unable to fully move on with his life.
After I returned from Europe, another good friend made his intentions known that he would break off his relationship. Then two weeks ago, yet another of my friends, who was recently engaged, informed me that her fiancé had broken it off. This after only a few weeks of having purchased the rings. And then continuing the trend, last week I received an email that another set of friends had decided to end their relationship and separate. You would think I could end there, but there is more. Another married friend is struggling inside of her marriage. While I hate to say it, if she took the Magic 8 Ball and shook it up, it would probably say “Too early to tell.” So, the verdict is still out on that one.
I could continue speaking of failing relationships within my periphery, but the eternal optimist in me has another theory on what is actually taking place. In speaking of cycles, we are rumored to be moving into a new one. Spiritually minded people believe the world is transitioning into a period of enlightenment and self-discovery. In other words we are evolving. Because we have learned to interact with one another in very rigid ways, many people will find this evolution very painful. Especially if you are resistant to change, which most of us are. If we are to evolve, we must look within ourselves for the keys toward that evolution. I suspect this new cycle necessitates the break up of relationships, as most people would find self-discovery very difficult while struggling with the distractions of a significant other.
The key thing to remember is that we must embrace change. It is coming regardless of our readiness. If we are to evolve, openness to change is essential whether within a couple or alone. When things are good, it is often because we have learned to grow together. Other times, when things don’t seem so great, it is because we have fallen out of synch. This is when we find ourselves troubled and in distress. But don’t despair. A failing relationship doesn’t necessarily mean bad news. In truth, it only means that pain and struggling is meant to be a part of our growth process. When we take the time to look at the big picture, we will understand this. We will realize there are no mistakes, nor are there any victims.
It wasn’t until a few months ago that I noticed this trend. I had traveled to Europe where my cousin was still suffering the after effects of a failed relationship. And another British friend was suffering from continuing to be in one. The latter has since broken it off although his ex is refusing to leave. For several months, he has remained stuck beneath the same roof unable to fully move on with his life.
After I returned from Europe, another good friend made his intentions known that he would break off his relationship. Then two weeks ago, yet another of my friends, who was recently engaged, informed me that her fiancé had broken it off. This after only a few weeks of having purchased the rings. And then continuing the trend, last week I received an email that another set of friends had decided to end their relationship and separate. You would think I could end there, but there is more. Another married friend is struggling inside of her marriage. While I hate to say it, if she took the Magic 8 Ball and shook it up, it would probably say “Too early to tell.” So, the verdict is still out on that one.
I could continue speaking of failing relationships within my periphery, but the eternal optimist in me has another theory on what is actually taking place. In speaking of cycles, we are rumored to be moving into a new one. Spiritually minded people believe the world is transitioning into a period of enlightenment and self-discovery. In other words we are evolving. Because we have learned to interact with one another in very rigid ways, many people will find this evolution very painful. Especially if you are resistant to change, which most of us are. If we are to evolve, we must look within ourselves for the keys toward that evolution. I suspect this new cycle necessitates the break up of relationships, as most people would find self-discovery very difficult while struggling with the distractions of a significant other.
The key thing to remember is that we must embrace change. It is coming regardless of our readiness. If we are to evolve, openness to change is essential whether within a couple or alone. When things are good, it is often because we have learned to grow together. Other times, when things don’t seem so great, it is because we have fallen out of synch. This is when we find ourselves troubled and in distress. But don’t despair. A failing relationship doesn’t necessarily mean bad news. In truth, it only means that pain and struggling is meant to be a part of our growth process. When we take the time to look at the big picture, we will understand this. We will realize there are no mistakes, nor are there any victims.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving…
Last week I attended a career exploration seminar. The workshop required us all to take a test, which asked a series of preference questions. Things like “When you attend a party, do you prefer to mingle around the room or to stay in a small group of close friends?”
The test is devised to profile your personality preferences. Those preferences are then used to predict what kinds of jobs you are best suited for. For example, if you are an extremely extroverted person, it is assumed you will prefer jobs around people vs. sitting at a computer alone. Some of the categories described in the profiles are as follows:
1 Extroverted (E) or Introverted (I)
2 Sensing (S) or Intuitive (N)
3 Thinking (T) or Feeling (F)
4 Judging (J) or Perceiving (P)
To clarify some of the above categories, “sensing” people see the world through their senses and can describe things in particular detail exactly as they observed them. “Intuitive” people see the world in the bigger picture describing things as they related to them emotionally. For example, a sensing person would describe a mugger in detail while an intuitive person might describe them as “scary.”
Judging people are regimented and structured while perceiving people are spontaneous and carefree.
The course leader asked us to guess the results of our assessment. I found that easy and assumed my results would be introverted, intuitive, thinking and judging or INTJ. To my shock, my results came back as ENFP!!! The results are also given in degrees. Mine said I was clearly an extrovert. What?! I was somewhat floored as I sat contemplating these results. Could I possibly be an extrovert? Yes, it’s true, I enjoy the company of friends and family, but alone time doesn’t bother me in the least. In fact, I need alone time in order to remain centered. After I left this class, I ran my results by a few people who know me. Each of them said I seem very comfortable in social situations and meeting new people. Does that make me an extrovert? Perhaps it does, but I’m still working it out.
While I find the premise of the preference test fascinating, I have to admit it is not as fine-tuned as it could be. The questions were all multiple choice and several of them didn’t provide answers that accurately described me. I was left to pick an answer that best approximated my feelings even if it wasn’t an accurate reflection of my actual preferences.
The most interesting result of the assessment was that it got us to consider the truth about ourselves. If I am truly an extrovert, getting comfortable in this role will be important for my growth as a person. One of the other participants tested as a “feeling” person whereas he thought he would fall into the “thinking” category. As it turned out, he associated “feeling” with wimpiness. Without knowing him well, and from what I observed, I would definitely categorize him as feeling. And this isn’t to say I thought he was wimpy, but the feeling role may be one he needs to get comfortable with. Reality is always a much better understanding of the world than delusion. In a peculiar way, the seminar was like a mini therapy session for everyone who didn’t test the way they had anticipated. And any time we can walk away from an experience knowing ourselves a little better than we did before… well, then that’s a good day!
I HAVE WRITTEN A BOOK! TO LEARN MORE OR TO READ AN EXCERPT
of my sci-fi/fantasy/adventure novel, “The Unveiling: 1.0,” please visit TheUnveilingSeries.com.
The test is devised to profile your personality preferences. Those preferences are then used to predict what kinds of jobs you are best suited for. For example, if you are an extremely extroverted person, it is assumed you will prefer jobs around people vs. sitting at a computer alone. Some of the categories described in the profiles are as follows:
1 Extroverted (E) or Introverted (I)
2 Sensing (S) or Intuitive (N)
3 Thinking (T) or Feeling (F)
4 Judging (J) or Perceiving (P)
To clarify some of the above categories, “sensing” people see the world through their senses and can describe things in particular detail exactly as they observed them. “Intuitive” people see the world in the bigger picture describing things as they related to them emotionally. For example, a sensing person would describe a mugger in detail while an intuitive person might describe them as “scary.”
Judging people are regimented and structured while perceiving people are spontaneous and carefree.
The course leader asked us to guess the results of our assessment. I found that easy and assumed my results would be introverted, intuitive, thinking and judging or INTJ. To my shock, my results came back as ENFP!!! The results are also given in degrees. Mine said I was clearly an extrovert. What?! I was somewhat floored as I sat contemplating these results. Could I possibly be an extrovert? Yes, it’s true, I enjoy the company of friends and family, but alone time doesn’t bother me in the least. In fact, I need alone time in order to remain centered. After I left this class, I ran my results by a few people who know me. Each of them said I seem very comfortable in social situations and meeting new people. Does that make me an extrovert? Perhaps it does, but I’m still working it out.
While I find the premise of the preference test fascinating, I have to admit it is not as fine-tuned as it could be. The questions were all multiple choice and several of them didn’t provide answers that accurately described me. I was left to pick an answer that best approximated my feelings even if it wasn’t an accurate reflection of my actual preferences.
The most interesting result of the assessment was that it got us to consider the truth about ourselves. If I am truly an extrovert, getting comfortable in this role will be important for my growth as a person. One of the other participants tested as a “feeling” person whereas he thought he would fall into the “thinking” category. As it turned out, he associated “feeling” with wimpiness. Without knowing him well, and from what I observed, I would definitely categorize him as feeling. And this isn’t to say I thought he was wimpy, but the feeling role may be one he needs to get comfortable with. Reality is always a much better understanding of the world than delusion. In a peculiar way, the seminar was like a mini therapy session for everyone who didn’t test the way they had anticipated. And any time we can walk away from an experience knowing ourselves a little better than we did before… well, then that’s a good day!
of my sci-fi/fantasy/adventure novel, “The Unveiling: 1.0,” please visit TheUnveilingSeries.com.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Worry Is Your Mantra
For nearly two years, I have wanted to practice the mantra. Somehow, I knew there was value in it even if I didn’t understand what that value was. Last March, I attended a Buddhist retreat and for the first time I began practicing the mantra. I wrote the mantra over and over. I spoke the mantra over and over. During the retreat, I noticed many of the participants held these tiny digital devices. During our meals, they were very social, but periodically they clicked these devices. I soon learned they were digital counters so they could keep track of how many times they repeated the mantra. For the seasoned participants, the goal was to repeat the mantra 10,000 times per day! On my good days, I maybe made it to 500.
Today while running, I wrote a new mantra for myself:
Please, God, help me to take away my anger
Help me to purify my soul
Teach me to be loving to my fellow man
The theory behind the mantra is that its power can be unlocked through repetition. The more you write and repeat it, the more it gains in strength. After I finished reciting the above mantra a few hundred times, it occurred to me, worry is our mantra. Each time we worry, we are silently repeating a mantra of negativity and most of us don’t even know it. For example, if my car makes a noise it’s never made before, I begin to worry. “What if it’s about to break down? What if I get stranded somewhere I don’t want to be? What if it costs too much money to fix?” From then on, I become hyper alert. Every time I hear a strange noise, negative feelings are reinforced. It is the power of a silent mantra being recited in my head. A worry mantra is very powerful and can successfully create illness in the worrier. Even if illness doesn’t occur, a worry mantra can spread misery from the worrier to anyone nearby.
Whenever we begin to worry, we should practice a positive mantra even if it is just to counteract the negativity that is naturally occurring in our brains. And please don’t mistake my message for something it is not. A mantra cannot prevent bad things from happening, but it can totally flavor and change our reactions to the things we cannot control.
Please, God, help me to take away my anger
Help me to purify my soul
Teach me to be loving to my fellow man
Today while running, I wrote a new mantra for myself:
Please, God, help me to take away my anger
Help me to purify my soul
Teach me to be loving to my fellow man
The theory behind the mantra is that its power can be unlocked through repetition. The more you write and repeat it, the more it gains in strength. After I finished reciting the above mantra a few hundred times, it occurred to me, worry is our mantra. Each time we worry, we are silently repeating a mantra of negativity and most of us don’t even know it. For example, if my car makes a noise it’s never made before, I begin to worry. “What if it’s about to break down? What if I get stranded somewhere I don’t want to be? What if it costs too much money to fix?” From then on, I become hyper alert. Every time I hear a strange noise, negative feelings are reinforced. It is the power of a silent mantra being recited in my head. A worry mantra is very powerful and can successfully create illness in the worrier. Even if illness doesn’t occur, a worry mantra can spread misery from the worrier to anyone nearby.
Whenever we begin to worry, we should practice a positive mantra even if it is just to counteract the negativity that is naturally occurring in our brains. And please don’t mistake my message for something it is not. A mantra cannot prevent bad things from happening, but it can totally flavor and change our reactions to the things we cannot control.
Please, God, help me to take away my anger
Help me to purify my soul
Teach me to be loving to my fellow man
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