BUY! BUY! BUY!

A year and a half ago, my mother passed away, and shortly before that, she had relocated from California to Georgia. Once I pulled myself together (sort of), I boarded a plane and traveled to her new house just north of Atlanta where I began trying to settle her estate.

After arriving, I walked through her house, doing a quick mental inventory of what my mother had chosen to bring from her old place to the new one. Many of her personal effects held sentimental value for me. There was a stained glass cat that was very kitsch by today’s standards, but it had been around since before I could remember. It may have even predated me. At the end of my walk-through, I immediately began feeling overwhelmed. Dozens of pieces of artwork covered the walls. All of the rooms were quite well furnished, and the master bedroom led to a huge walk in closet that was packed with clothes. In addition to the master closet, there was another room where a ten-foot closet was filled with suits and coats. Although she had been living in this house for nearly a year and a half, there were at least four large boxes in the garage that were full of unpacked clothes. It was a lifetime full of things, and for the first time I questioned “Why do we accumulate so much?”

Coincidentally, my mother and I had moved during the same week a few years before. I thought of all the things I had chosen to take with me to my new place. Because I was only moving across town (and not out-of-state), I transported many of my clothes in large trash bags. There were at least 24 bags full of clothes! Slowly, I began opening my eyes to my own behavior. Having grown up in a consumer society, I had been well trained to believe I was supposed to “want” things. Trust me, this programming was successful. I can only estimate that I transported nearly forty pairs of shoes. Some of them I would never wear again, but because they were in such good condition, I couldn’t bear to throw them out. I had not only become a serial consumer, I was displaying pack-rat behavior as well. Suddenly, I envied my favorite cousin who had a rack of clothes in his room. He never accumulated more than his rack could hold. When it began to get tight, he would do a large throw out to make space. Each time I tried to throw things out, I met myself with reluctance, thus twenty-four trash bags of clothes!

Slowly, I have opened my eyes to my shameless consumption. So many of us are guilty of it. Each time we buy a magazine, there are more advertisements than there are articles. Purses, watches, colognes, perfumes, clothing, electronics, and the list goes on. And truthfully, I don’t mind admitting sometimes the advertisements are more clever and interesting than the articles. And if I close the magazine and by chance turn on the television, I am bombarded with commercials. Hair dyes, skin care products, cosmetics, beer, household cleaners, and again the list goes on. Each time I open my mailbox, I have a stack of mailers and advertisements even if I don’t have mail! Each time I enter a freeway, billboards keep me company. Nowadays, many of those billboards are huge flat screens so different sellers can share their time on display. I began to realize I am being marketed to no matter where I go. Sometimes public restrooms have tiny billboards or television screens at the urinals, so I can be marketed to while I urinate. And even though I have added my phone number to the “Do Not Call List,” I still incur the occasional telemarketer who reaches me at home. And so begins the accumulation of stuff, most of which I do not need.

Thankfully, I believe the current financial crisis stems from us beginning to change our behavior. Instead of focusing on our wants, there has been a shift. We are now beginning to think more about our needs. This shift has not grown out of choice as much as it has necessity. We have to change if we are to survive ourselves. A few weeks ago, I went to Target and saw a complete display of recyclable batteries. This brought a smile to my face. Having been a marketer myself, I knew it was a no-no to market a product that didn’t bring the buyer back to purchase more. For a marketer, “recyclable” is counter-intuitive, but our thinking has evolved.

Moving forward, my plan is to simplify. I don’t have to shop for gifts when I have a surplus of things already in my house that would be much better utilized by someone else. I am happy to report I haven’t shopped for clothes at all this year. My goal is not to add anything to my wardrobe without sending something I have back out into the market. It is easy to find resell shops where clothes can be recycled into the system. The last few times I bought clothes, I used money made by selling some of my old things! Although it goes against everything I’ve been taught, the less I have, the simpler I find life. And from now on, simplicity is the key!

Are We Killing Ourselves With Convenience?

The answer to this question is most certainly a resounding yes! Each day, we turn on the TV we can see ads for new innovations. Inventions that are marketed to facilitate our lives. The car is a perfect example. For those of us who have one, it is hard to imagine life without it. Automobiles allow their drivers freedom and independence to come and go as they please. More than thirty years ago, the presence of acid rain became well documented. In some regions, entire lakes have been decimated by toxic precipitation. The effects of automobile emissions have proven extremely detrimental to our environment, such that nations around the world are trying to regulate them to slow global warming.

I remember a time when blow dryers were so trendy; you could find people with virtually no hair blow-drying their coifs every morning. And then it was discovered that asbestos was present in the linings of many dryers. Although this is no longer the case, today we can turn on the television and here about the links between asbestos and mesothelioma, a deadly disease.

Not too long ago, I was trying to convince my mother that she needed a microwave. She resisted for some time, but eventually did get one. Before I knew it, she was microwaving all kinds of things, which by that time made me uncomfortable because I had learned of the dangers. Although they are convenient, one has to be suspicious of the warning not to stand too close while they are in operation. In addition, most plastic containers, when placed inside, leach toxic chemicals into their contents so that we can then eat them!

Cellular phones were once a luxury item, but nowadays your average high school student has a wireless plan. In fact, it’s hard to imagine children without cell phones because in large part they serve as a lifeline to their parents. Still, studies have linked cell phones with brain cancer, and some researches believe cellular signals may be responsible for the disappearance of honeybees, which we definitely need for agricultural purposes. Personally, I don’t believe the honeybee theory, but I do have a theory of my own, which I will discuss shortly.

A few days ago, I was in Whole Foods buying fish. Salmon is one of my favorites, but I wanted wild caught without the presence of dyes. Out of curiosity, I asked the man behind the counter why dye was added. He pointed out another kind of fish with a brownish filet, and said that farmed salmon would be a similar color without the dye. In nature, salmon is a rich, hot pink color, and when farmed it is a brownish color of beige. Hm…

The more I learn about what we do to our foods, the less I have found I am willing to buy. Nowadays, I walk through large chain grocery stores, and see aisles and aisles of unsuitable food. I do not desire the dyes, sugars or preservatives. And while scientists are reluctant to admit it, genetically modified foods are counter-intuitive. Our bodies are designed to digest food using different enzymes and beneficial bacteria. Nevertheless, modern scientists are genetically modifying agricultural products to resist pesky insects. Question? If insects are no longer able to digest these foods, if insects no longer want to touch these foods, what benefit are they in our digestive tracts? Could the disappearance of the bees in some way be related to the emergence of these new crops?

Large corporations have chosen to manipulate our food chain in detrimental ways. As such, I have made a decision to regain control. I recently invested in a bread maker, an ice cream maker, and a juicer. Yesterday, I made my own butter to spread across home made bread.

I once read in a book that humanity would save itself only by returning to the forest. At the time, I found this statement very cryptic, but I now realize its meaning. We will save ourselves by turning away from deadly conveniences. Until I can trust what the corporations have decided I should eat, I will circumvent what they are offering by making my own bread and butters, my own ice creams and juices, and by growing as much of my own produce as I can. And just a word of advice.... I suggest you do the same.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FEEL?

Yesterday, I did some writing and then hustled over to Piedmont Park to get in a last minute run before dark. There is a great track there that encircles a series of fields where multiple teams can play soccer, baseball and/or kickball. There are also a couple of volleyball courts, which were busy with players battling it out. For my first lap, I walked to warm up and then did some stretching (which I normally rush through). This day, I took my time with the stretching, and then I started my run. I was happy because I often struggle during the first lap, but this time I caught my stride early on.

As I came around for my second 0.7-mile lap, I noticed a man on my right hand side, at the bottom of an embankment. He was beside a gazebo, in an area where people barbecue. At first glance, I thought he was leaning over to drink from a fountain. As I jogged closer, I could see that he wasn’t drinking at all. He was stooped over as if bending down to drink, but there was no fountain. Instead, he was vomiting.

To my horror, he stuck two fingers down his throat and more vomit spewed forth as if from a geyser. I couldn’t believe my eyes. How had I ever thought there was a drinking fountain there? Perhaps I had only seen what I wanted to see.

I quickly looked away, but not before I realized who it was. Nearly every time I visit Piedmont Park, I see a homeless man. He looks to be about 5’10, African-American, thirty-ish, average build, but that was the only thing average about him. All things considered, his clothes weren’t that dirty, but he was not in good shape. His hair is roughly three to four inches long where he has hair. Most of it has fallen out, either from malnourishment, or nervousness. Even though I see him pretty much every time I visit the park, I have never witnessed him begging, nor have I seen him bothering anyone for that matter. From what I’ve noticed, he actually seems quite mild mannered, if that can be determined from very limited observation.

Still, I was horrified to have witnessed the whole vomiting affair. When I saw this, my gut instinct was to cross over to him and check that everything was okay. But then I questioned why he was on the streets. Was he mentally ill, or had he just fallen on a series of bad luck episodes? Would he be coherent if I spoke with him?

The possibility that he was mentally ill unnerved me. If I questioned him, would he vomit on me? I also realized that I was already queasy just from watching him from a distance. There was a possibility I would lose my own lunch had I approached him in that state. So, I made a quick decision. I would keep jogging and do nothing. But this left me feeling a little uncomfortable as well. Had I rejected some of my humanity to turn my back on someone in this predicament? As I turned into the bend of the track, I didn’t know how I was supposed to feel? Was I supposed to block it out as I had chosen to do? Is that the appropriate response? I am unsure who else witnessed this episode, but the other joggers did as I and continued jogging.

Probably I write because I wasn’t entirely comfortable with my decision to keep jogging. When we see someone in distress, we should offer assistance, correct? The truth of the matter is sometimes the right thing is neither the easy nor the comfortable thing. So, again, I ask the question, “How am I supposed to feel?”

PRIDE AND GLORY

Pride – An excessive belief in one's own abilities, that interferes with one’s understanding of the true laws of nature. It has been called the sin from which all others arise. Pride is also known as Vanity.

The laws of nature are many, and they define the reality in which we all live. If everyone and everything that you know abides by these rules, then it is pretty safe to say it is a law of nature. Some simple ones are:

1.) Everything ages.
2.) All that is born dies.
3.) To live we must breathe air, drink water and consume food.

There are many other natural laws, and as hard as we might try, it is not in our power to change them. To be humble is to understand the existence of these laws, along with the knowledge that we have no power over them. Still, we see pride pushing us to fight these laws as if we had any control over them. Billions are spent on battling the aging process with things like creams, miracle cures, and surgery. This is pride and arrogance for these laws cannot be changed by man.

So, how does pride work exactly? Pride stems from man’s false understanding of his own role as a creative force. Parents often feel they created their children when in reality none of us have a true understanding of the process that takes place in creating a human being. Once again, we see this process being battled on a daily basis. Fertility doctors create drugs and processes whereby people who could not otherwise conceive are having litters of babies. Eventually, time will tell what defying these laws will bring.

Likewise, a farmer who delivers a large crop is often proud of his harvest. In such a situation, pride may lead the farmer to mistakenly believe that it is he who caused the crops to grow. In reality, he had no control over whether the sun shined, or the rain fell, or even that the soil was fertile. The humble farmer knows his role was but a small part in the chain of events necessary for the crop to come to fruition.

Life, and its rules existed long before any of us were here and the humble man knows that there is nothing that we as humans have invented. We have only uncovered how to manipulate the elements that were given to us to create new forms. In short, we have learned the “recipes” for making things, but in truth, we have invented nothing. Still, we have given ourselves credit for creating things like metals, glass and concrete. Columbus took credit for discovering America even though entire civilizations were already there. This is the most unfortunate thing about pride. It often leads us to deny the reality in which we live. When we are proud, we are saying we do not accept our role and what we have been given, in essence becoming delusional about the world in which we live. True humility will come through our simple acceptance of reality and the laws of nature that make up that reality.

GLUTTONY & GREED: NATURE OR NURTURED?

A few months ago, I was surfing the net and stumbled onto the headline, “The Biggest Billionaire Blowups: Who Lost the Most in 2008.” The article proceeded to feature stories on who lost the most in 2008 among some of the richest people in the world.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/01/05/biggest-billionaire-blowu_n_155426.html

As I read through the above article, I became more indignant about the world as we know it. How or why is it possible that one man in India, a country known for its abject poverty, could lose as much as $30 billion in one year? As Mike Tyson would say, it’s completely ludicrous. Only the imperfections of the human condition – both gluttony and greed – could allow such insanity to exist.

Gluttony is an inordinate desire to consume more than that which one requires.

Greed is the desire for material wealth or gain, ignoring the realm of the spiritual. It is also called Avarice or Covetousness.

What is it that makes us want more than we need? Is it simply human nature to be greedy? Or could this be a learned behavior? Many argue the laws that Darwin proposed… survival of the fittest; kill or be killed; it’s a dog eat dog world. All of these teachings instruct, “that if we don’t go out there and get it, someone else will.” As such, people begin a lifetime of scrambling to “collect” things that they want, oftentimes at the detriment of those around them. How many of us have examples of this behavior somewhere in our lives? Certainly, all of us do, just as we are likely guilty of gluttony and greed ourselves.

Still, I believe human nature, in its purest form, is one of compassion and giving. It is only when the ego becomes involved, and through our society’s mis-education that we allow gluttony and greed to prevail. Thankfully, we have examples all around us of just how unfulfilling materialism can be. The Princess Di’s, the Michael Jacksons, and Paris Hiltons, are all people who we thought had it all, but yet they were or remain painfully unhappy. At the end of the day, taking and taking without giving back will be empty and unfulfilling. For many, the current financial crisis is a wake up call, or reminder of what is truly important. When we gain clarity, we will understand that giving, or being of service is so much more fulfilling than gluttony and greed.

I, My, Me, Myself and I

I remember back when I was in college, a friend of mine was fortunate enough to be able to afford a brand new BMW 3-series. He was so proud of that car. For him, it was a source of inspiration indeed. And on many levels, I envied him. Although, I had a car, it was a simple Toyota that is no longer sold in the U.S. I can still remember when he first bought that BMW. He used to say he no longer had to work for girlfriends. “I just sit back and let the car do the talking,” he used to proclaim. All of his value and self-esteem was wrapped up in that car, and the attention it brought to him. I think we all know people who operate this way. In fact, many of us probably operate as such. Our self worth or how we see ourselves is painfully intertwined with what kind of car we drive, what part of town we live in, or where we work. Spiritually, this is a flaw brought on by the presence of none other than our egos.

Now, the ego is a tricky thing. In many ways, it gets a bum rap because we associate a variety of negative behaviors with it. But there is a reason for the ego’s existence. It actually serves multiple purposes, one of which is to protect us. Why and what do we need protection from you might ask? From ourselves, from each other, and from the environment.

Not too long ago, a friend of mine asked, “Why are we born into lives so full of pain and suffering? What is it all for?” Back when he asked, I didn’t know the answer to these questions, but I do now. Human life is so terribly precious because it is the vehicle to achieve enlightenment. Through our physical forms, we are spiritually enabled to grow and to evolve. Other animals don’t have this ability, but we do and how precious it is. One function of the ego is to keep us aware of this fact. The ego gives us drive for “self-preservation.” Sadly, this reality has become veiled to many of us. Even though we have this incredible capability to become enlightened, we waste entire lifetimes on nonsensical things.

Just the other day, I learned of a new innovation developed by Volvo. It is a radar guided collision warning, where the car’s computer will cause it to brake (independently of the driver) if a collision is imminent. The feature does not drive the car, but it can take control of the brakes in a dangerous situation. Knowing how precious life is and that it shouldn’t be wasted, the ego was designed to offer similar protection. If a figurative collision is imminent, the ego will apply the brakes. Unfortunately, somewhere along the way, the ego assumed a larger role, taking control of critical decisions. In essence, what was designed as a safety feature is now “controlling” the vehicle. When this happens, the outcome is almost certainly never good. The ego was not designed to be behind the wheel and is an awful decision maker. It will always choose selfishly. After all, this is part of its self-preservation function. The problem is when we allow it to control how we operate in society, we will always display behavior, which is dangerously self-centered and egocentric. As such, we will often be at odds with the people around us. Our nature will be competitive, not compassionate. And our lives will be full of suffering and misery.

Don’t let the ideas behind Darwinism fool you. Man’s true nature is not survival of the fittest, or to kill or be killed. When we understand how precious life is, and what life is there to accomplish, we become filled with compassion. Our desire is to share and to help each other. These attributes come easily when our egos are held to their original purpose. When these realizations are veiled, and the pursuits of the ego become commonplace, then our minds become clouded with confusion, and riddled with defilements.

Over the next couple of posts, I will discuss some of these defilements and how they arise from our unbridled egos.

Growing Up Brady!

Back in the fifth grade, I dreamt of being older because I imagined adult life was easier. It’s what I like to call the “Brady Bunch mentality.” In the Brady Bunch, the kids always had adolescent issues and the adults always had the answers. Oh, what a combination that is, the naiveté of a ten year old and the brainwashing power of TV!

Years later, when I was close to graduating from high school, I remember thinking I am close to adulthood, but my issues and interactions are no different from what they were on the fifth grade playground. Logically, I deduced that it would probably be in college that I began to feel like an adult. In college, I would likely have the answers as the adults did in the Brady Bunch. This was not to be true. Unfortunately, my relationships and issues were not significantly different in college either. Even then, I did not fully understand. I was still anxiously awaiting my Brady Bunch years, which I subsequently believed would start after college. Certainly, once I found a job, my adult life would begin. I looked forward to having a grown up’s clarity, with which I could solve even the most confusing of problems.

After college, I found a job in the entertainment industry, which I later learned was the place people go when they don’t want to grow up. This probably wasn't the best choice for someone seeking clarity. Within a few weeks of being on the job, I was introduced to the concept of office politics. For those of you who don’t know, office politics involve the exact same dynamics that were used on the playground, only in the office, these dynamics are quite structured according to the hierarchy. This means that child who was a bully in the fifth grade can only be a bully in the office if he or she is high enough in the hierarchy to be one. This also means that office politics often breed bullies out of people who never could have been bullies in nature. Scary, huh?

Even scarier are the world politics we witness day after day. A few days ago, I read the headlines of rhetoric from Iran’s newly re-elected President Ahmadinejad demanding an apology from President Obama for his comments following their election. The only thing I could think of was my fifth grade playground, and this or that kid arguing over whatever. Today’s banter between world leaders sounds more and more like, “You better not say nothin’ bad about my mama.” And just as it happens in the office, it is also true on the global playground. The hierarchy determines who the bullies will be, only the stakes are much higher. Instead of two kids fighting on the playground, thousands of troops are sent to battle wherever the biggest bullies choose.

Finally, I have realized the truth. “The Brady Bunch” was a false prophet for me. In reality, adults don’t have the answers and playground politics extend throughout all aspects of our entire lives. Still, in the back of my mind, I hope for a time when Brady Bunch solutions will apply and the answers to every problem will reveal themselves. I have a theory though. In the real world, I think we, or the Brady kids, will come up with our own solutions, reducing the need for the parents because in the real world, the parents are the bullies and who needs those.