A Party of One!

Here’s an opinion question: Are we meant to be alone? Or maybe I should specify: Are we meant to be alone right now? I only ask because oftentimes people refer to cycles when it comes to certain behaviors. For example, I have heard that fashions resurface every twenty-five years. Or financial masterminds claim that economies cycle through booms and recessions regardless of who is in office. And certainly relationships also go through cycles. I am beginning to suspect we have entered a phase in which relationships are not meant to work. Most of my friends who are in couples are either breaking it off, or they are being dumped. If anyone else has noticed this strange phenomenon, please let me know. I would love to hear your thoughts.

It wasn’t until a few months ago that I noticed this trend. I had traveled to Europe where my cousin was still suffering the after effects of a failed relationship. And another British friend was suffering from continuing to be in one. The latter has since broken it off although his ex is refusing to leave. For several months, he has remained stuck beneath the same roof unable to fully move on with his life.

After I returned from Europe, another good friend made his intentions known that he would break off his relationship. Then two weeks ago, yet another of my friends, who was recently engaged, informed me that her fiancé had broken it off. This after only a few weeks of having purchased the rings. And then continuing the trend, last week I received an email that another set of friends had decided to end their relationship and separate. You would think I could end there, but there is more. Another married friend is struggling inside of her marriage. While I hate to say it, if she took the Magic 8 Ball and shook it up, it would probably say “Too early to tell.” So, the verdict is still out on that one.

I could continue speaking of failing relationships within my periphery, but the eternal optimist in me has another theory on what is actually taking place. In speaking of cycles, we are rumored to be moving into a new one. Spiritually minded people believe the world is transitioning into a period of enlightenment and self-discovery. In other words we are evolving. Because we have learned to interact with one another in very rigid ways, many people will find this evolution very painful. Especially if you are resistant to change, which most of us are. If we are to evolve, we must look within ourselves for the keys toward that evolution. I suspect this new cycle necessitates the break up of relationships, as most people would find self-discovery very difficult while struggling with the distractions of a significant other.

The key thing to remember is that we must embrace change. It is coming regardless of our readiness. If we are to evolve, openness to change is essential whether within a couple or alone. When things are good, it is often because we have learned to grow together. Other times, when things don’t seem so great, it is because we have fallen out of synch. This is when we find ourselves troubled and in distress. But don’t despair. A failing relationship doesn’t necessarily mean bad news. In truth, it only means that pain and struggling is meant to be a part of our growth process. When we take the time to look at the big picture, we will understand this. We will realize there are no mistakes, nor are there any victims.