Thanks for Nothing!

Each year around this time, feelings of resentment and animosity arise in me. I know these are not festive feelings, but their arrival is sometimes beyond my control. Consider how it feels to learn that a trusted friend has been dishonest with you and then you’ll understand the source of my Thanksgiving Day chagrin.

Since childhood, my family has celebrated Thanksgiving with a traditional turkey dinner. Each year, either our kitchen [or the kitchen of whoever was hosting] would explode with everything from turkey, ham, roast beef and chicken to greens, candied yams, macaroni and cheese, ambrosia and much, much more. Each feast was a veritable exercise in gluttony and excess. Even when the guests departed with “to go” plates, we would still find ourselves with several days of leftovers in the refrigerator. Because Thanksgiving was tradition, I rarely questioned the origins of the holiday. It wasn’t until much later in my life that I began learning about the pilgrims and how the Native American had helped them when they were suffering through their first winter. The pilgrims were so thankful, they created a holiday of remembrance to celebrate what they’d received during an intense time of need.

But surely there must have been a better way to thank the Native Americans. Perhaps the pilgrims could have thanked them by not stealing their land. Or maybe it would have been nice had they not disparaged their beliefs, thinking it fit to force a completely foreign “self-serving” belief system upon them. In fact, I think most of us would agree that a “thank you” should be designed to show appreciation for the party who was helpful and not for the one who was helped.

Fast-forward to present day, and the current state of the Native American Nation is quite dismal. The survivors, who are quite few, are often relegated to reservations where poverty and alcoholism are rampant. And even though the American government has seen it fit to make amends by offering free education and by allowing tribes to profit from gambling, neither of these has shown an impact by bringing about any kind of resurgence in Native American communities.

It is sad how many examples there are of cruelty and barbarism in the world, but for me, what makes it even more disturbing is our refusal to acknowledge and accept the realities of such history. President Lincoln didn’t awake with the epiphany of slavery’s inhumanity and then decide to abolish it as it was (is?) taught in elementary school. And the mere concept of Thanksgiving as it is recounted is disingenuous if not ludicrous. I, too, find some of these atrocities difficult to digest, but it doesn’t suffice to simply revise history into a nice package with a bow on top. Even when the truth hurts, it is preferable to lies and deceit.

Years ago, I made a pact with myself to acknowledge Thanksgiving, not for the pilgrims’ successes, but as a time to be thankful for all of life’s blessings. I am thankful for my mother who was never anything but loving and supportive. I am thankful for my father who taught me many of life’s valuable lessons. And I am thankful for my extended family of relatives and friends who have shown me affection and support throughout many trials and difficult times. With this said, I also believe it is incumbent upon all of us to acknowledge the truths of our history, even when they aren’t pretty, and to understand how to move forward in ways of kinder wisdom.

Happy Thanksgiving! May all of you find blessings in truth, kindness and compassion.